Le Festin
by omegatrinity
Summary: SanjiUsopp. Sanji and Usopp take a vacation that turns into a fake date. Takes place after Water 7 so a few spoilers are mentioned.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own One Piece.

Usopp was certain, as soon as his face became well acquainted with the nearby bulkhead, that he needed a break. And not the sort he was positive his nose would be suffering later, but the kind where he could relax without being greeted by a near-death experience. A vacation.

The problem was that the Strawhats seemed to bring an entourage of danger wherever the docked, and even the most serene islands would sooner or later turn into floating nightmares on the Grand Line. Luffy called it adventure, Usopp thought of it as the worst. Luck. Ever.

Destiny, he thought, he was destined to die by a stress-induced cause. He was sure of it.

They had been a solitary form on the open sea for two weeks now. No islands, no other ships, not even the sea kings seemed to be bothering with their stretch of the Grand Line lately. Usopp almost prayed that they would find danger. Almost, he thought, nursing his nose from earlier, he wasn't that desperate yet. He was more than content without the threat on his existence, although -he mused- living with Luffy could be just as compromising.

But there was a difference between a vacation and 336 hours of time that seemed to never move faster. They'd run out of games after the first two days and Nami didn't even stop to yell at them after that -they were the most action she'd seen all week.

They were still treating wounds from their last run in with "adventure." Usopp was sure his body would shatter if something even brushed his skin, so he was surprised when his spine didn't combust when his face hit wall earlier that morning.

When Usopp said he wanted excitement, he didn't mean an internal injury. But maybe that's what excitement was. To some people, anyway.

Sanji chuckled to himself when he went to help Chopper change a bandage on Usopp's torso. Apparently, mind-numbing hours of sitting around had driven Usopp to insanity and he took up talking to himself -that's what his theory was anyway. Sanji had overheard the last part of his conversation, probably around "...not all of us have blood laced with steel, some of us are normal..." he figured.

"Pirate life not all you thought it'd be?" He blew smoke out in O's to the galley ceiling. Usopp docked points from Sanji for eavesdropping.

"Shut up." He straightened with a particularly cold hand touched his rib. "A break from all the..." he paused to find a word that wasn't negative, "excitement is nice and all, but can't we ever dock at an island that isn't lined with the World Government? Somewhere-"

"Relaxing?" Sanji laughs again, but it leaves his lips in a bitter note. He exhales to dismiss the attitude.

Chopper perks his ears up at this, eager to hear what sort of relaxing island the two had in mind. He hadn't really seen any since he joined the crew either. "What do you mean by that?" He turns to Sanji in question, but continues applying the medicine to Usopp's bruised form.

"Haven't you ever had a vacation, Chopper?" Usopp asks without turning, but he raises his head a little in surprise. He supposed, after posing the question, that Chopper would never have had the opportunity to take a break if he were apprenticing as a doctor until he became a pirate. He hadn't always been as human as he is now either, he mused, reindeer don't customarily take time for themselves.

He thinks, cocking his head and twitching his ears, "No, I don't think I ever have." Sanji and Usopp aren't as shocked as they are sympathetic - everyone deserves a break once in a while, Sanji says shaking his head. The two explain to Chopper the spas and festivals that are, usually, not threatened by dangerous thrill-seeking pirates, the fireworks that are released to the skies for every year, the parades, the beaches -the girls, Sanji adds- feasts. Usopp begins a story on some of the most extravagant vacations he's ever gone on -Sanji stops him early, don't get Chopper excited about your fantasies, he says.

"ISLAND!!!" They hear Luffy's call from the deck. The Grand Line was always one for coincidences, Usopp thinks. But he knows how this will play out, they'll touch the beach, and that's when what ever blood-thirsty criminal that found that island first will decide -on a whim- that he really should kill a few people. Luckily, there are eight of them that just hit land!

How convenient, Usopp thinks unenthusiastically.

Chopper finishes wrapping the last of the sniper wounds and applies some medicine to the scratches on his face. Usopp stands, a little painfully, and thanks Chopper. Although part of him thinks that these bandages are the only things holding him together, and whatever sleeps on this particular island isn't going to care if he just fought an entire fleet of marines single-handedly, he's going to feel some pain.

"Quit being such a baby." Sanji says, noticing Usopp's less than excited expression, "You're over thinking it."

Usopp starts to mention that he hasn't actually _said_ any of the things he is supposedly "over thinking" and that Sanji tries to pretend that maybe every island will not be infested with threats and traps just waiting to be triggered. Usopp's not being pessimistic, he's being logical -this happens on _every_ island.

Sanji pats the sniper's back just hard enough for Usopp to grunt through gritted teeth, "Let's make this island our vacation spot," he says. He's facing Chopper, but he looks at Usopp pointedly when he mentions it.

_No way, count me out_. Usopp's mind is screaming at him, _I'll stay on the beach so we can make a quick get away if anything comes up._ But something tells him to take Sanji's offer, and it wins over Usopp's more cautious thoughts. He suddenly wishes he hadn't opted to talking to himself earlier, he's developing multiple personalities. It's the nerves, he convinces himself, the nerves.

Sanji's hand is on his back now, shoving him towards the galley door and out into the sunlight. They're docking - hitting land is more accurate - and Nami needs all hands.

Sanji announces to no one in particular, more to Nami if anyone, that he'll be going into town with Usopp. The sniper's just happy to hear that this island isn't totally covered in jungle and Luffy hasn't shouted "adventure" yet, so that's a good sign, he decides.

The chef is whistling happily next to Usopp's head, hands in his pockets and eyes upward - he's in unusually good spirits. Sanji must have been at sea for too long because something catches his eye and he takes Usopp's arm in an almost childish gesture and drags him over to the window.

"Look!" He's fingering the glass, and Usopp's surprised he hasn't pressed his face into it -like Luffy does when he finds a restaurant that looks particularly inviting. Sanji's talking at full speed about something he would _love_ to make for the girls back on the script, something with flowers and fruit -from what Usopp gathers, and wouldn't it be _wonderful_ if he gave them a bouquet of flowers that was actually _fruit_? It takes a lot more will power than he would have liked to not make a snide remark, Usopp has to admit that a fruit bouquet sounds delicious and beautiful. No doubt it would take Sanji all of three minutes to make one as big as Franky.

"This island is famous," Sanji is suddenly speaking directly to him, and Usopp's glad he tuned in now, "for a certain restaurant." He's gesturing to a new sign now, "It's one of the most famous on the Grand Line." Sanji's not looking at him anymore, but down the road where he expects that restaurant to be. "Let's get dinner there."

Usopp assumes everyone else is going, "Will Nami want to pay for all the food Luffy's going to eat? It sounds like that could get expensive."

This seems to throw Sanji for a bit, "Why would she need to pay?" He fails to add, _they won't be going_. Usopp starts to think that maybe Sanji's trying to impose a date on him, that maybe Sanji's finally snapped and feels he needs some sort of attention _that_ badly. He thinks maybe they've both gone a little crazy, because a date sounds like a nice change of pace.

Usopp turns to follow Sanji when something is thrown into his mouth, nearly choking him in surprise. It's sweet, whatever it was, and Sanji is giving him an expectant smile the the sniper finds somehow endearing. As if the chef made whatever he's chewing on himself.

"What do you think?" He lights a cigarette, but never breaks eye contact -something Usopp notices, because Sanji almost always looks towards his hands when he lights up.

"I-It's good." He's not surprised, but he's a little taken aback and he turns away, suddenly feeling very hot.

"I'm thinking of making something like this for the crew."

Usopp wants to ask why he's asking for his opinion, Sanji could fry up dirt and everyone would adore it. He's_ that_ talented, but he feels it would make the situation a little uncomfortable. That's a compliment taken a little too far, he thinks. He's flattered that Sanji cares to ask in the first place, although he doesn't see how his point of view matters when it comes to his cooking. He's eaten Sanji's cooking -obviously poisoned with mushrooms- and, regrettably, enjoyed it. Dessert that the other boy cooks is heavenly, Usopp admits to himself. His mouth waters just thinking about it.

The sniper is tugged in the opposite direction now, with a "C'mon, Usopp, let's get a window seat," and Sanji puts out the cigarette in his shoe. He throws it behind him and walks quickly to the restaurant with Usopp in tow.

They find Luffy on the way, he went with Chopper to buy as much food as his small "allowance" would let him, and was on his way to spend what was left on stuff he, most likely, didn't need. He was standing next to the window, too close to the establishment for comfort, and Sanji was eyeing the table in the window as they came up to their captain.

Usopp was surprised Sanji didn't punt Luffy across the island to get that table by the window. The chef looked like he was out for blood, and honestly, Usopp didn't see the importance in that particular seat.

The sun was setting and people started to head towards the restaurant - no doubt out for a romantic dinner - it _did_ have a very posh feel to it, Usopp noted, looking at the architecture. But he would be just as happy eating on the beach, Sanji's cuisine changed so frequently that he never got bored with the food. The chair just didn't seem that important. To Sanji, it was another matter altogether.

"-I told you," Sanji was grinding out at a disappointed Luffy, "that's all you get. Go ask Miss Na-" He turned a little, to see if his precious table was still vacant, when a waiter showed a young couple to the chairs. Sanji's whole world seemed to go crushing down around him. Usopp feared a little for Luffy's life. Sanji's head turned almost inhumanly slow back to their captain, and even Luffy had enough common sense to grab Chopper and run in the opposite direction -although he wasn't entirely sure what he had done to deserve the expression from his chef.

Usopp was sure that Sanji alone was equally as dangerous as the last ten things they'd fought put together. It took all of his courage to touch Sanji's arm, he thought maybe the chef would break the restaurant in half, rampaging through the town like some terrifying monster -but in a finely tailored suit.

He took another cigarette out of his pocket, lit it, and closed his eyes. Usopp watched Sanji's smoke blow out from between his lips, this seemed to calm him down, fortunately.

"Hey, uh, why don't we eat on the beach?" Usopp tugged Sanji's sleeve towards their ship's direction. "The sun's setting, so it should be pretty nice. Franky's probably playing music too..." He smiled nervously towards the chef, who had hooded his eyes behind his long bangs.

"Yeah, okay." He sounded bitter though, a little disappointed. Usopp figured that maybe Sanji had had a night in mind, what that night entailed, though, he didn't really know.

Walking back, Sanji didn't say a word, just seethed through his quickly burning cigarette and took long, violent strides against the cobblestone. Usopp struggled to keep up.

When they got to the beach, the cobblestone road had fizzled to a dirt path, leading to their serene docking spot, and Usopp was happy to see that pirates hadn't ransacked the Thousand Sunny as far as he could see. Camp seemed to be in tact, so there hadn't been a fight on land either. It was, however, completely abandoned.

"Where is everyone?" Usopp said aloud but didn't actually expect an answer. An idea dawned on him then, Sanji was, obviously, looking forward to that dinner and even though he didn't see how the window seat had anything to do with the restaurant's reputation, he figured he'd make it up to the other boy.

Sanji entered the galley with a quiet, "I'll get dinner started."

That gives me, maximum, an hour, Usopp assumed.

When Sanji walked out with a "dinner's ready!" Usopp had set up a small table, two chairs, and had managed to doll it up as much as possible. Usopp was never so happy to have random cloth and items on hand than today. He figured a candlelight dinner was what Sanji had in mind - Usopp could be oblivious, but he wasn't stupid.

"W-" Sanji stared at the sniper, almost dropping the food in his process of walking out the door and across the grass of the deck. "What is this?"

"Dinner?" Usopp meant for it to come out as a simple answer, of course it was dinner. Isn't that what they came back for? But it left his mouth in a sheepish response. Maybe he was a little intimidated. Just a little, though.

"Why did you-" Sanji seemed to be having a hard time making sentences, and he must have picked up on it because he cleared his throat. "What's this for?"

Usopp didn't really want to explain. What would he say? Well you seemed pretty disappointed about the window seat, I thought maybe you wanted to go on a date? That would go over well. Usopp really did _not_ want to admit to thinking it was a date in the first place.

"C'mon Sanji, you of all people should know what a table is for. You _were_ a waiter." Usopp smiles, when Sanji's eyebrow twitches - I was_never_ a waiter, he says curtly. "Just sit down."

The sniper's almost _glad_ the restaurant didn't work out, because he can't get enough of Sanji's food. He's in the middle of one particularly delicious bite when he notices Sanji is staring at him - he must have had his eyes closed, which is a little embarrassing.

"What?" Usopp must look _incredibly_ suave with his face full of food. Not that he's trying, he thinks. Why even bother defending himself to his own brain?

He expects the cook to say: "Nothing," in an irritatingly dreamy way that says he was definitely staring at him while he ate this, notably delectable, meal.

"You like the food?" As if he couldn't tell the answer by Usopp's expression. But he was glad no attention was called to it.

"Yeah, it's delicious. Much better than anything that restaurant could serve, I bet..." It just slipped out! Usopp has to fight to not cover his mouth in shock at himself. "I-I mean, I'd rather eat the meals you cook, anyway." What was this? That's not what he was trying to say at all! It was the blood loss, that had to be it, a normal person can't stand this much action with injuries this bad! Blood loss, blood loss, Usopp chanted in his head.

"I'm glad." Sanji smiled, blowing smoke to the sky.

"I never thought you'd get so upset about a table. You're usually kind of down to earth... I mean sometimes." Usopp's confidence was back, thankfully, because he hated being so nervous around Sanji. Sanji was like an animal, he could _smell_ fear. Usopp was sure of it.

"It's not about the table." Sanji said simply, but didn't explain himself, and before Usopp could ask he added, "So was this the relaxing vacation you were looking for?"

Usopp wasn't expecting the subject change, and made sure to swallow this time before answering.

"Yeah, just what I wanted." He watches Sanji get up and take the empty plates in one hand, balancing them with a familiar elegance.

He leans in, presses his lips to Usopp's in one smooth moment that lasts, just long enough, almost as if Sanji had been timing it to get it _just_ right. The sniper's shocked, and remembers to kiss back at the last few seconds. It was a date after all, he thinks, feeling like he should react differently than he is. He can't think of anything to say as Sanji turns on his heel to leave,

"We'll have to do it again, then."


End file.
